The Butter To My Bread, The Breath Of My Life.

It is 3:00 in the morning, and I can't sleep. This is nothing new for me. I am usually wide awake at strange hours of the night, but I don't usually want to write this late. The later it gets, the more obnoxiously bright and painful a computer screen becomes. However, tonight is different. My eyes are already growing sick of the glowing screen, but my mind is far too wild to be put to bed at the moment. So here I sit in bed with a sleeping dog next to me, my painfully bright laptop, and a million thoughts running through my head that need a home (that isn't my brain) so that I can get some sleep.

Do you ever get in those moods where you don't feel like yourself because somehow you have managed to lose your passion and drive, even for just a second? Well I do. For the past several days, I have felt like I am missing something very important in my life. I had lost my motivation to go out and do things, and all I wanted to do was sleep and avoid all contact with people. But I finally realized today what I have been missing. My drive, motivation, and passion all came rushing back once I figured it out. I need food.

Now I am not starving or anything like that. I am getting plenty to eat, but I still need food. I do not need it for sustenance, or for any reason pertaining to the health of the human body. I need food to cook. I need food to feed my need to be creative. I need food to bring the people around me together. I need food to bring order and warmth back into my home. I need food to put the spark back in my life, and light the flame that fires up my motivation. It is probably strange to find all of that just from food, but I have been known to be a pretty strange person. However, being able to see food as something to experience, rather than simply something needed by the body, makes it special.

Food gives us the chance to bring joy to other people. When cooking, the key ingredient in every recipe is emotion. For me, it is impossible to step into the kitchen and cook without putting my passion and emotions into what I create. That does not mean that everything coming out of my kitchen is good. Sometimes the things I create are ghastly and horrible, but I still pour my feelings into them. I once ended up in tears after going through 5 unsuccessful batches of pie dough. Of course, the failed dough was only part of my dismay, but it was the part that allowed me to work through whatever issue I had been dealing with at the time. Having something completely and utterly fail in the kitchen gives me a chance to let go of some of my stress. However, cooking also brings out the best emotions, not just stress.

I honestly believe that, over the span of my life, I have laughed and smiled more in the kitchen than anywhere else in the world. Whenever I am at my happiest, all I want to do is cook a large meal for all of the people I'm closest with. It perpetuates my joy. I am so thankful that I was able to grow up in a family where so much time was spent with food. I learned early on that food isn't just about eating. Food is about bringing people together, letting out anger or stress, and creating an environment where everything is okay. It truly is a powerful thing.

I am so glad that I have had so much support from the people in my life. I have figured out how to get the passion and drive back in my life, even though it was only gone for one small blip. All it took was my boyfriend suggesting that I find a long-term project and then asking me "what do you want to do?" As soon as he said that, I knew immediately that I wanted to cook. That is all I want to do, and that is what I'm going to do. I don't plan to do anything like cooking all of Julia Child's recipes and blogging about them, but I am planning on throwing myself into cooking again.

But it may be best to start tomorrow. It is now 4:00 in the morning. The longer this post goes on, the worse the writing becomes. I am finally starting to feel sleepy, and this computer screen seems to be getting brighter. So goodnight, everyone. Until next time.

-Emily

Dog Sitting Day Two: The Crude Humor of Doggy Farts

Hannah and Luna are like a lava lamp. They can keep me entertained for hours. Today they have done some pretty silly stuff, but also some pretty gross stuff. They are insanely gassy dogs. And, despite how awful it smells, I find it really funny. I also had fun watching them do things like trying to catch their treats, falling asleep in funny places, and hopping around the yard. I have been giggling all day.

My sense of humor is very skewed. I love puns and fart jokes. I laugh at really goofy things like dogs wearing shower caps, screaming goats, any other animal wearing clothes, and just goats in general. I also laugh at really horrible like dead baby jokes and most crude British humor. Dirty jokes usually don't make me laugh because I usually don't catch on to them. My mind is rarely in the gutter because I usually spend my time coming up with funny puns (even though I'm probably the only one who finds them funny). My goofy sense of humor is why I think the doggy farts are funny. They sound like a human, and every time they toot they look at their butts as if they can't believe what just happened. It truly is very funny.

Both of them are so cute and silly. Luna, the baby, always falls asleep on the couch with her head on the pillow like a human. Then Hannah goes and cuddles up with her like the mama duck she is. Then when there is the smallest sound in the world, Luna jolts awake and jumps about three feet into the air. Hannah doesn't move at all. The only things that wake up Hannah are when I stand up, she toots, or when I speak the words "food" and "go outside." They both fall back asleep pretty quickly every time.

Sleepy Luna.

It is really nice to have these two dogs here to keep me company during the day. My apartment has been so dreary and lonely the past couple of nights because my dog, Maggie, is staying with my grandparents for the week. It is amazing how quiet and empty my home feels when it is missing that one little dog. At my sister's house, Hannah and Luna make it feel like a home full of warmth and love. There is something magical about walking through the front door and being greeted by puppy faces and licks. That is the best part about coming home to Miss Maggie. She always comes to say hello when I walk in. That one greeting from a dog can make any place feel like home.

Dog Sitting Day One

This week I am watching my sister and brother-in-law's dogs while they are on their honeymoon. They live about 30 minutes away from me (or an hour depending on the traffic), so I got up early this morning so that I could spend the whole day with the dogs. I packed up my computer, stopped at the QT for some caffeine, and I was on my way.

When I first arrived, both dogs had their noses sticking out of the door to greet me. They are very goofy dogs with loads of personality. Hannah is the older one, and she is rather large. As my brother describes it, she is "well marbled." Luna is the younger one, and she is hilarious in every way. She has one ear that is floppy and another that sticks straight up. She is cute as can be, but she is definitely not the smartest dog in the litter (but that just makes her even more adorable). Luna follows Hannah around like a little duckling follows its mama duck, and Hannah is more than okay with it. They are a goofy pair, and they bring endless smiles and laughter to anyone they meet. I'm very excited to be watching them this week.

So far today, we have run around the backyard, they had some treats, and now we are all hanging out in the living room watching Once Upon a Time. I've got my snacks, energy drink, comfy robe, and two fluffy puppies who are falling asleep from too much fun chasing each other in the yard. Right now, life is good. I have two great companions to spend the week relaxing with.

One Very Large Delayed Post

It has been a very long time since I have been able to write a post. So much has been going on in the past several weeks, and my whole life got even more crazy and busy in the past two weeks. This is my extremely delayed post that will recap everything big from the past couple of weeks!

All of us minus my dad.

Rush's 40th anniversary tour.

First was the Rush concert. A couple of Tuesday's ago my dad, sister, two brother-in-laws, my boyfriend, and I took a trip out to the Verizon Amphitheater to see a legendary band play. Rush has been one of those bands that I grew up listening to because my dad always had them playing along with Yes, Queen, and other great groups. After 40 years of playing, they are still amazing. I am so happy I was able to go and see them on their 40th anniversary tour, especially with such a great crowd of people.



Once my dad flew back to Texas after the concert, I went into full crafting mode. My mom was set to fly in that Saturday for the Renaissance Festival. I made all sorts of things for our outfits. I made fairy wings, floral vines for arms, a cloak, a bag, and tons of other fairy/elf accessories. I spent the entire week prior to the fair to make everything. It was so much fun, and in the end we all looked really awesome in our costumes (at least I thought so). For my outfit I made a dress out of one of my moms old skirts, and I wore my fairy wings, flower crown, and a whole other assortment of fairy-like items (including a bottle of glitter). We had a lovely day filled with fluttering fairies and glistening glitter.

My fairy costume.

For the next several days my mom and I ran around all over town to help my sister get everything ready for her wedding, which was today. We also had to get my apartment ready for all of the people I had staying with me the weekend of the wedding. We went to the mall about four times for so many different things, and every single time I got a mall pretzel. It was one of the highlights of my week. We also took a trip up to visit my grandparents, get our hair cut by our good friend Billy, and take my dog to the vet. Billy fixed my self-cut bangs, we got all of the things needed for the wedding, and the vet told us that Maggie is completely healthy. We were all ready for the weekend to come, and for the craziness to ensue.

On the Thursday before the wedding we had the bachelorette party. We didn't do anything too crazy (no strippers, or drugs, or anything like that), but we did have plenty of provocative objects and it was very fun. That is about all I want to write about that night. The next day was the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner for the wedding. We all went to the venue to run through the plans for Saturday morning, and then it was off to dinner. Our whole crowd went to a yummy Mexican restaurant where we celebrated with pitchers of beer and margaritas. We had a lovely evening visiting with friends and family, and I was extra happy because it was a very special day for another reason than just the rehearsal dinner.

At the wedding.

Aren't we cute?

On June 5, 2015 Roger and I celebrated our one year anniversary. I am so happy and so lucky to have spent the last year of my life with such an amazing guy. He always makes me feel like I am special and beautiful, even when I am in sweatpants and in need of a shower. When I first me him, he came onto the porch of the house where my sister and her friends lived, and he was carrying a cow skull. Roger and his friend Matt had gone out in a field and found the skull, and it is still hanging on the wall at that house wearing a set of swim goggles. Before I met him, my sister had told me all about him because she wanted us to date. Naturally, I always thought she was crazy. Dating him was the last thing I expected to happen, but thankfully it did. On our first date he took me out for pizza, and I was so nervous I couldn't even look at him. But from that very first date, he has always kept me smiling, and somewhere along the line I fell in love with that goofy goober. I am so happy to have spent this last year with hm by my side. Here's to many more years filled with laughter, love, and happiness with my best friend.

The next day, Saturday, was the wedding. The bridal party gathered at my house at 7:00 in the morning to start getting our hair and makeup done for the big day. From that point on, we were going nonstop with everything. My sister went and married the man of her dreams, and I couldn't be happier to welcome him into our family. The last few weeks have been absolutely exhausting, but they have also been wonderful. I have seen love in several different forms and generations, I have laughed until it hurt, and I have cried because I couldn't hold in my happiness. I am so thankful for all of the love I have in my life, and I am so excited to see what the future has in store.